Is this guy serious? HA!?

Question by LTOYA25: Is this guy serious? HA!?
Hi everyone! Just curious on your opinions: I met a guy through a mutual friend back in July and we were two peas in a pod! We dated all the way up until Thanksgiving when he decided to dump me. I am 22, working 30 hours a week, senior in college in an honors program and thesis project, I help out with psychology research in university labs, and I am applying to law schools at the moment…my point is, I’m pretty independent and away from home now, trying to get my life together. On the other hand, he is in his late twenties, only graduated from high school, works an hourly wage part-time at a golf club, and is in a dead end band (= no money)…oh, and he still lives with his parents. I fell in love with him only to be dumped and left dumbfounded. But the more I think about it, he is stuck in high school-in his mind (the glory days)…he has no responsibilities at home and his parents have to tell him to clean his room and wash the dishes…and they feed him and let him continue to live there on their dime for the most part. He cuts their grass for an “allowance” too…The only reasons that I stayed with him and looked over those points is because I really loved him and we had a lot in common…also, because I figured that I was four years younger than him and still pretty young anyways and shouldn’t judge. However, the more I think about it the more I realize that he would never have signed up to take a class at the community college had I not come into the picture (his friend even told me this after the breakup, that I inspired him to do so)! He wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer back in high school from what I’ve been told, but he seemed motivated and his parents were actually starting to feel proud of his son for having some kind of motivation to get his shit together! Anyways, he started introducing me to his friends, took me to weddings of his friends from high school, and it was like he felt peer pressure to enroll in school and tell his friends from high school that he wanted to make something of himself and be a teacher…I was very encouraging once he announced this to everyone, however, I never told him beforehand or pressured him to go back to school…he did that on his own. I feel like he was just doing this to keep up in the social circle with his high school friends (who are now mostly married and live on their own and have steady lives and incomes with families). I think he felt pressure with me around because I was actually trying to get somewhere with my life and I was making him look bad (I guess?)

Anyways, the last relationship he was in lasted for over two years and the girl he was with was a few years older than him, but an alcoholic and partier (just like him-all though, he drinks he never really had much when he dated me because he knew I wasn’t a drinker/partier and my dad was a recovering alcoholic)…Also, he looked liked the responsible one in that relationship so I think that’s why he stayed with her for so long, even though he got so sick of her jealosy and nagging (as he has told me). Anyways, they dated, were broken up but on the rocks/friends with benefits up until I met him through a mutual friend, when he finally got sick of her antics of getting drunk at her job, jealousy, etc the same week we met and told her they were done with everything. However, I think they were meant for each other! Haha, they both liked to party and drink at these thrasher punk shows he played at and they are both insecure and have to be in the social circle and party to feel important…When we were dating, I think he was trying to turn some of that craziness off for me because he knew I wasn’t really a punk rocker partier/drinker, I don’t think he was being himself around me and I guess he got sick of it. We were doing really great up until the part where reality started to sink in that I actually had responsibilities and we could only see each other on the weekends if anything…we lived an hour away from each other. Oh summer love, you suck bite and blow…in that order! Hahaha A good analogy I have to describe us would be something like I am to the band Rush as he is to the band …well, I guess his “band” hahaha
Sorry for the novel-length post everyone…I guess I got way in the zone for a little bit there, haha…my question is I want to know your opinion on the situation…basically why do you think he dumped me?
Oh, and I never put him down either…I think he was the one who felt inadequate after he got to know me…In fact, I put his ass on a pedestal when we were dating…but since he has dumped me, all of the things that I overlooked are starting to creep up in my mind as negatives (naturally). We never fought or anything like that when we were dating…that’s why I mentioned before that I was dumbfounded that he dumped me. I would have continued to stay with him like nothing happened had he not out of no where dumped me! I was definitely a fool in love, let me tell you!

Best answer:

Answer by Guardian
sorry i got lost somewhere in that and

forgot what was your question

What do you think? Answer below!

11 Comments so far »

  1. Jenn said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 7:27 am

    forget him you will find many more and on your level! good luck

  2. Never Regret sumone that once maid you SMILE... said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 7:55 am

    Dude I’m sorry but I don’t have the time to read your story it’s way too lOng

  3. Neesha Hall said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 8:50 am

    Geezz ! You wrote your ass off but clearly dude is a loser , a girl dependent & in school , applying for law school ect is hot to a boy he needs to open them damn eyes & smell the coffee !

  4. Full of Win said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 9:31 am

    Awesome novel…is there gonna be a sequel ?

  5. Nancy said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 9:38 am

    Haha same here idk what your talking about, sorry X)

  6. Rachel said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 9:41 am

    you write a little too much haha…i dont know your question but if youre wondering if you guys should get together then i would say no, you should move on. you guys are not a like at all. you 2 are leading two totally different lives. you can find someone alot better then that old dump. He has no morals or values, you do. hes dependent and you are not. if you like someone like that then go ahead. if you want to be his mommy and do everything for him then go right ahead. but you will regret it

  7. tagboy said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 10:07 am

    I would say he would become a weight round your neck and end up pulling you down. Your on the move and he is stuck in park.

  8. ScorpioGirL said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 10:38 am

    Such a long story but there’s no question, oh yeah it’s your title. No he doesn’t sound serious.

  9. charli said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 11:36 am

    Same it was long but great story
    Oh and what were you asking our opinions on

  10. Michele C said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 12:15 pm

    I didnt really see a question in there either, you just sound bitter about the whole thing. I don’t mean that offensively I definitely don’t blame you I would be bitter too! It sounds like you lowered your standards for him because you fell in love and out of nowhere HE broke up with YOU. That f*cking sucks. But be honest with yourself, you probably would not have been happy as a lawyer at 30 years old supporting your almost 40 yr old husband and his band. As much as it may hurt right now, it’s probably for the best. Also, he is a d*uche because by your “is this guy serious?” it sounds like he didn’t really give you a reason when he broke up with you. that in its own is cowardly. i was going to say sorry you wasted your time on him, but it probably wasnt a waste of time since you loved him. i am sure you had good times, so just remember those. and know that you will find someone on your level who you will have more of those kinds of moments with

  11. Rory..Not like you care said,

    Wrote on February 10, 2012 @ 1:11 pm

    Maybe because your’re so critical of him, saying he’s lazy, alcoholic, a loser.

    No wonder he dumped you.

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