Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart
Product Description
Alchemists sought to transform lead into gold. In the same way, says Tara Bennett-Goleman, we all have the natural ability to turn our moments of confusion and emotional pain into insightful clarity.
Emotional Alchemy maps the mind and shows how, according to recent advances in cognitive therapy, most of what troubles us falls into ten basic emotional patterns, including fear of abandonment, social exclusion (the feeling we don’t belong), and vulnerability (the feeling that some catastrophe will occur). Through this program we can free ourselves and others, and the freedom to be more creative and alive.
This remarkable program also teaches the practice of mindfulness, an awareness that lets us see things as they truly are without distortion, or judgement, giving the most insightful explanation of how mindfulness can change not only our lives, but the very structure of our brains. Here is a beautifully rendered work full of Buddhist wisdom and stories of how people have used mindfulness to conquer their self-defeating habits. The result is a whole new way of approaching our relationships, work, and internal lives.
Amazon.com Review
According to ancient legends, alchemists use a magical philosopher’s stone to transmute lead into gold. In Emotional Alchemy, Tara Bennett-Goleman shows readers how they can use this alchemist metaphor to transform emotional confusion (lead) into insightful clarity (gold). And what does the magic stone represent? “Mindfulness,” a lifelong practice that can bring readers more joy and contentment than the gold, according to Bennett-Goleman. “Mindfulness means seeing things as they are without trying to change them,” she writes. “The point is to dissolve our reactions to disturbing emotions, being careful not to reject the emotion itself.”
Those who have never entered this practice will find a concise and articulate teacher in Bennett-Goleman, who leads national workshops with her husband, author Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence). What make this book such an exciting breakthrough is Bennett-Goleman’s ability to apply Buddhist mindfulness to Western psychology. She shows how emotional alchemy can be used to address typical habits, such as mistrust, fear of rejection, feeling unlovable. Readers will also find fascinating scientific facts on how emotional alchemy affects brain chemistry and even cancer survival. –Gail Hudson
Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart
Anonymous said,
Wrote on August 24, 2010 @ 10:12 pm
I had the pleasure of editing this book for Harmony, and I’ve never been more helped and enlightened by a book I’ve worked on than I have by EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY. It is so rare to find a book that combines original insight with an actual practice that can bring the insights to you in an immediate and personal way. It is even rarer to find such a book that is beautifully written, full of stories and wisdom woven seamlessly together. Rarer still is to find an author as authentic, caring and generous as Tara–so true to her message. I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
Rating: 5 / 5
Anonymous said,
Wrote on August 24, 2010 @ 11:51 pm
Years ago I attended one of Tara and her husband Daniel’s weekend seminar on meditation. I remember feeling a lightness and ease in myself after this seminar. I found a similar experience with reading Tara’s book, Emotional Alchemy. Through Western psychology and Buddhist mindfulness Tara guides the reader in self discovery. According to Tara “Mindfulness means seeing things as they are, without trying to change them.” I had not previously heard of the practice of mindfulness, but it rang true for me. I feel I will revisit Tara’s book again and again as it is a great resource for personal transformation.
I you enjoyed this book, I highly recommend reading another book called “Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work” by Ariel and Shya Kane. The Kane’s approach to modern day enlightenments is based on simple awareness where mechanical behavior can transform enabling you to lead an authentic life, one with meaning and satisfaction. Thanks to all the authors of these two wonderful books!
Rating: 5 / 5
Anonymous said,
Wrote on August 25, 2010 @ 1:22 am
The emotional impact of delving into “schemas” as defined by Goleman was huge.
While intellectually I was aware of childhood influences on my adult being, Goleman’s work puts those experiences, and our resultant coping mechanisms, or schemas, into a solid framework.
I had never given thought to how deeply rooted the schemas of abandonment, deprivation, subjugation, mistrust and unlovability were in my own life, or in the life of my signficant other.
Descriptions and vignettes presented by the author brought me to shaking and shuddering tearfulness as long-dormant emotions rose to the surface. At the same time, I could see my partner’s schemas at work on both her and on our relationship.
For the first time outside of a pure academic exercise, I highlighted the book as relevancy to my life swirled inside of my head. I later actually wrote out 12 single-spaced pages of notes about these revelations to later share with my partner.
I sent her the book (since she’s now moved 1500 miles away. . .) with the promise that we shall discuss in detail once she finishes. Behaviors as individuals and as a couple NOW make sense. What was inexplicable and frustrating before now have a plausible framework.
Most importantly, the author’s strategy and techniques for employing “mindfulness,” or the way to see things as they are, is very useful and sensible. The ability to recognize the power of our schemas and then help to turn maladaptive schemas away from controlling our lives is totally understandable and useful.
She adroitly blends in various underpinnings for her theory ranging from the latest psychological therapy techniques to the quieting powers of reflection as exercised within Buddaism and other far eastern religions.
This is one of those books that can serve as a personal turning point. It certainly did for me. Personal fears and doubts and needs are now understood.
Mindfulness meditation is now part of my daily mechanism to overcome the previously underestimated power of maladaptive schemas on my life.
Thanks for sharing the wisdom Tara.
Rating: 5 / 5
G. Merritt said,
Wrote on August 25, 2010 @ 2:32 am
Tara Bennett-Goleman writes that “this book is about seeing ourselves as we genuinely are, not as we seem on first glance as viewed through the filters of our habitual assumptions and emotional patterns” (p. 4). The concept of “emotional alchemy” allows for “the possibility that our bewilderment and turmoil might blossom into insightful clarity” (p. 7); it is about “bringing intelligence to our emotional lives” (p. 144). Bennett-Goleman is a psychotherapist who studied with Dr. Jeffrey Young in schema therapy (p. 9), and with Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusettes Medical School in mindfulness training (p. 10). She also practiced meditation with S. N. Goenka in Bodh Gaya, India (p. 36).This book is recommended “for people who are functioning in their lives, but who suffer from self-defeating emotional habits” (p. 15). Although it offers an excellent introduction to psychology from a Buddhist perspective, the psychology presented here “offers a scientific approach to inner work, a theory of mind that anyone, Buddhist or not, can draw insights and benefit from” (p. 8). Buddhism, Bennett-Goleman adds, contains “an entire system of psychology–a mind science–that can be of value to anyone” (p. 65). Buddhist teachings encourage us to recognize our suffering, to free ourselves from that suffering, and to follow a path free from that suffering. This is the path of Bennett-Goleman’s EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY–”a path that offers a gradual freedom from the hold of what Buddhism calls ‘afflictive’ emotions” (p. 12).Buddhist teachings tell us that our “most insidious enemies are internal–our afflictive states of mind” (p. 300) Bennett-Goleman examines a number of familiar schemas (“negative life patterns”) in her book, including abandonment (pp. 75-77), deprivation (pp. 77-79), subjugation (pp. 79-81), mistrust (pp. 81-83), unlovability (pp. 83-85), exclusion (pp. 87-88), vulnerability (pp. 88-90), failure (pp. 90-91), perfectionism (pp. 91-93) and entitlement (pp. 93-95). “Deep beneath vulnerability and deprivation,” she observes, “lies a pool of profound sadness; beneath mistrust and subjugation is a smoldering anger; beneath vulnerability and social exclusion, and abandonment lurks fear. An anxious self-doubt drives perfectionism and failure alike. And at the core of entitlement very often lies shame” (p. 168). Mindfulness practice allows us to identify these hidden emotional patterns, and when we direct our “spotlight of awareness” toward these schemas, we experience opportunities for transformation from the distorted thinking and emotional chaos of our lives (pp. 172-73).Bennett-Goleman also shows how the “schema tango” (p. 210) of any relationship can become an “emotional battleground,” but those relationships (including parent-child relationships, pp. 225-40) also “offer an especially ripe opportunity to let us do inner work that will free us from the grip of our schemas” (p. 207).EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY is more than a self-help book, and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in what it means to be human, or in personal growth. Although she is a qualified psychotherapist, Bennett-Goleman admits she is not an expert on Buddhism. The fascinating journey “to inner freedom” set forth in her book travels the psychological path only, unlike path of spiritual alchemy, which Bennett-Goleman concedes is “beyond this book” (p. 263).
G. Merritt
Rating: 5 / 5
Bill Butler said,
Wrote on August 25, 2010 @ 5:22 am
This is a beautiful book. And by a beautiful human being. But we have to see where we are going. The author has, intentionally or unintentionally, created a new therapy. It is called Emotional Alchemy. Emotional Alchemy begins with Insight Meditation. Vipassana. The author then combines Insight Meditation beautifully with Schematic Therapy. She lists ten “schemas” for people with deep emotional problems. This book can be a Godsend. But the author is creating a new therapy. Does it work? I went to the website listed by her in the back of the book. They have 16 “schemas” listed there. As opposed to her 10. I took the long test there and scored 55% on “Entitlement”. Tara Bennett-Goleman suggests that one concentrates on the largest “shema” at once. Like Jack Kornfield, she believes that meditation can not cure mental illness. We have certain parts of our brains which will simply deny access no matter what. Even until we die. The wonderful revalations that come through this book is that she simply tells you where she is going to and where she has come from. This is entirely ignored by well-meaning new-age gurus such as Kornfield and Levine. They give out meditations in their books which more or less proclaim themselves as Buddhas! Tara Bennett-Goleman does no such thing. Her works are based on cognitive therapy, neuroscience, and insight meditation. With a foreward by the Dalai Lama, this is a pivotal work toward helping those with
emotional problems. After seven years of homelessness, I still fall into the “schema” of Entitlement. You will also spot the schemas of Deprivation (emotional), Subjagation, Unloveability, ans so on. She is really postulating a theory in this book. Certain parts of the brain can not be accessed without something deeper than meditation. I appauld her efforts. Especially since she is not trying to merge Western Psychology with Buddhism as the authors that I mentioned are trying to do.
But Insight Meditaion co-joined with Schematic Therapy will simply need more work. I think she may do it. But not in this book. I shall wait. Both the book and the author are real gems. Buy the book and get ready for a “seperate” Buddhist Therapy. God bless you.
Rating: 5 / 5