Daughters of Madness: Growing Up and Older with a Mentally Ill Mother
Product Description
June was 9 years old when she came home from school and her schizophrenic mother met her at the door, angrily demanding to know, Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house? Tess’s mother would wait outside church, then scream at family friends as they emerged, accusing them of spying and plotting to kill her. Five-year-old Tess and her 7-year-old brother would cry and beg their mother to take them home as onlookers stared. These are just two of the stories among dozens gathered for this book. The children, now adults, grew up with mentally ill mothers at a time when mental illness was even more stigmatizing than it is today. They are what Nathiel calls the daughters of madness, and their young lives were lived on shaky ground. Telling someone that there’s mental illness in her family, and watching the reaction is not for the faint-hearted, the therapist says, quoting another’s research. Nathiel adds, Telling them it is your mother who’s mentally ill certainly ups the ante. A veteran therapist with 35 years experience, Nathiel takes us into this traumatic world—each of her chanpters covering a major developmental period for the daughter of a mentally ill mother—and then explains how these now-adult daughters faced and coped with their mothers’ illness.
While the stories of these daughters are central to the book, Nathiel also offers her professional insights into exactly how maternal impairment affects infants, children, and adolescents. Women, significantly more than men, are often diagnosed with serious mental illness after they become parents. So what effect does a mentally ill mother have on a growing child, teenager or adult daughter, who looks to her not only for the deepest and most abiding love, but also a sense of what the world is all about? Nathiel also makes accessible the latest research on interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, and the way a child’s brain and mind develop in the contest of that relationship.
Daughters of Madness: Growing Up and Older with a Mentally Ill Mother
Eliza Bennett said,
Wrote on August 6, 2010 @ 11:17 am
“Daughters of Madness” is comprised of the interviews of a handful of adult women who grew up with mentally ill mothers. Their stories are arranged piecewise, in chronological order from early childhood to late adulthood. It shows the progression of coping skills, impact on sense of self and overall effect on the families. The narrative is understanding and sympathetic, but also realistic and objective. Excellent aid to the healing process, but also an interesting read for someone who may not having any personal experience with the topic.
Rating: 5 / 5
J S Reader said,
Wrote on August 6, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
My siblings and I grew up in a home very similar to some of those women interviewed in the book. It was a ‘hard read’ in that there were times I just needed to set the book aside and grieve for what I had never had. Many family members did not get therapy back then and just continued to suffer desperate lives. I’m the only child in my family of origin that did not have a substance abuse problem, but had difficulties with emotions, and relationships. In many aspects this book was very validating for thoughts which have never been shared. My second, recent, career is now as a psychotherapist and many of my clients are very much like my mother. Reading this book has given me some ideas on how to better reach out to their children and families.
Rating: 5 / 5
Sharon L. Edwards said,
Wrote on August 6, 2010 @ 12:51 pm
I could not stop reading this book. I have a mother with untreated borderline personality disorder. She remains in denial about it and places her illness on me anytime I call her on anything. She has done some crazy stuff to me in my lifetime. I could never understand how my father did not stand up to her being that I am his child. I was able to learn about the reasons that other husbands do remain silent. This was a huge learning for me leading me to more compassion for my dad.
Rating: 5 / 5
J. Turner said,
Wrote on August 6, 2010 @ 1:09 pm
We need more research and understanding regarding the impact on children of their mother’s serious mental illness. This book looks at the impact at different stages in children s lives. Very well done with real people telling their story’s. A must read for men and women that grew up in homes where Mom was afflicted with serious mental illness. Highly recommended.
Rating: 5 / 5
Anon_ said,
Wrote on August 6, 2010 @ 2:26 pm
When I read this book, I hoped that it would be of “immeasurable comfort,” as the back cover suggests. Unfortunately, I could measure the comfort and the amount of comfort was limited. Since I have survived the same life as these women, I can say that I did not find it remarkable that these women survived their childhoods (though I feel deeply empathetic for what happened to them). Perhaps, from a truly psychological standpoint, it is remarkable. Though, I hoped for a story in which one person had not only survived but, had thrived, and done something truly remarkable not despite of it, but because of it. You will not get that from this book. This book might be a good psychology book (as I am not a psychologist I would not know). It accurately described how I felt when I was growing up. But if you look inside yourself, you can see how you felt without spending the exorbitant amount that this book cost. If you were raised by a schizophrenic mother and are looking to become anxiety stricken, depressed, or a drug addict, here is the book that will justify your actions.
To clarify this for anyone that is wondering, I was raised by an un-medicated schizophrenic mother. And I am okay. If your mother was schizophrenic and you are wondering if you will be okay, do not read this book. You will be okay. Don’t be ashamed to go see a psychologist. Your experiences are unique and unfortunately “normal” people will not understand. Do not read this book. I promise it will make you feel bad about yourself.
Rating: 1 / 5