Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood

Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood

Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood

View our feature on Joel Haber’s Bullyproof Your Child For Life.

As featured in the New York Times-an expert’s proven technique for stamping out bullying.

“Bully Coach” Joel Haber, Ph.D., is one of the foremost experts in the prevention of bullying. A pioneer in the field, he has worked with thousands of kids, parents, teachers, counselors, and others to understand the root causes of the bullying dynamic-from identifying bully types to exposing the reasons why kids become bullies, targets, or bystanders-and stamp it out once and for all.

Delivering a practical, supportive, and step-by-step “bullyproofing prescription” that yields lasting results for both boys and girls, from grade school through high school, Bullyproof Your Child for Life offers specific action steps to help any child build resilience and confidence, develop compassion and trust, and thrive in school, camp, sports, and beyond.

Empowering, instructive, and inspiring, this muchneeded guide will help parents detect the early signs of bullying and intervene-with lasting results.

List Price: $ 14.95

Price: $ 5.08

3 Comments so far »

  1. Meryl K. Evans "Content Maven behind meryl.net" said,

    Wrote on February 27, 2012 @ 3:14 pm

    14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
    4.0 out of 5 stars
    A very doable read for busy and overwhelmed parents, November 18, 2007
    This review is from: Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood (Paperback)

    Bullying today looks nothing like bullying 15 years ago. While many of the things we know about bullying from our childhood years remain true, bullies can now follow their victims 24/7 using the Internet and cell phones. Bullyproof Your Child for Life quotes the National Girl Scouts Research Institute and Harris Interactive report, which states the number one fear of girls ages 8 through 17 is teasing. This topped war, terrorism, and natural disasters.

    The media and parents also contribute to the increasing occurrences of bullying. We see more violence on TV, commercials, video games, song lyrics. Furthermore, many parents don’t realize they’re setting a poor example for their children. For example, Haber shares an experience in talking with a mother who approaches him in a coffee shop. She asks for help with her child’s reputation as a gossip. Haber advises her only to hear that he meets her friends at their table where she proceeds to gossip about a neighbor. Bewildering, isn’t it?

    The book begins with details about bullying and why it happens. Chapter two offers tactics for dealing with a bullying situation. The rest of the book explores situations, what works, and what doesn’t work.

    The rest of the book’s contents follow the coffee shop example in telling stories and offering clear and understandable advice without the jargon. Accompanying every chapter are stories related to its topic, which cover bullying in school, camp, sports, and online.

    Books in this category of non-fiction where the topic is painful and not fun can easily turn into books for helping people fall asleep at night. Haber and Glatzer do a first-rate job of using the tone needed for this sensitive topic. It doesn’t get emotionally heavy nor does it scare the reader. There are a couple of grim stories in the book — rightfully so — and the authors follow up with details and support.

    I also appreciate the chapter on special needs and disability harassment especially as a person who is deaf. The chapter gives greater focus on educating others to prevent them from bullying special needs children. It briefly goes into how to help a special needs child who is the subject of bullying. However, much of the advice throughout the book can help special needs children and work in most situations no matter where they occur.

    Stopping a bully doesn’t happen overnight, but Bullyproof Your Child for Life avoids overwhelming the reader with its doable suggestions. While the book doesn’t require reading from cover to cover, it’s beneficial to read the whole thing once — it’s surprisingly a fast and easy read. Parents, educators, and adults working with children can refer back to find what they need and take action based on the advice.

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  2. Donald Schneider said,

    Wrote on February 27, 2012 @ 3:50 pm

    15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    A Seminal Work on School Bullying, May 26, 2010

    This review is from: Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood (Paperback)

    Upon reading *Bullyproof Your Child for Life*, [Perigee Books, New York; August, 2007] by Joel Haber, Ph.D., with Jenna Glatzer, I was struck by how closely Dr. Haber’s views on the subject of school bullying mirror my own as stated on my website. Dr. Haber is a clinical psychologist and has used his years of experience to formulate an anti-bullying program that I find to be exceptional. Just reading this book will provide invaluable insights into the dynamics of school bullying, the psychology of bullies and victims and the repercussions of bullying for both groups as well as for student bystanders.

    Anyone who has read “Pride’s Prison” (my free access internet short story regarding school bullying,) or has read my articles on my website, will readily surmise that the following quote from his book would alone serve to endear me to Dr. Haber’s approach to school bullying:

    “Bullying is meant to humiliate, and it does its job quite well. Often bullied kids are so embarrassed that they don’t even want to tell their parents.” [Chapter 2, page 37]

    But Dr. Haber does not let the subject rest merely with this observation. He goes on to instruct parents how to approach youngsters tactfully if parents suspect their kids are having a problem at school with bullying. He advises what to ask kids, how to phrase matters and what to avoid asking to avoid the stock answer of “Fine” such questioning routinely engenders.

    Dr. Haber explodes the myth that school bullies are kids lacking in self-esteem and thus they attempt to inflate their egos at the expense of others. On the contrary, bullies tend to be kids who do not lack self-esteem, but are aggressive and lack empathy for victims: the very definition of evil as formulated by Dr. Gustave Gilbert, the U. S. Army psychologist at the Nuremberg War Crimes Trials. Bullies will continue to push beyond the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior as long as they feel as though they can get away with it.

    The author defines the underlying basis for bullying as an imbalance of power which bullies exploit to enhance their own social status within the school’s pecking order. The exact reason (too fat, skinny, etc.) why a victim is targeted is simply a pretext, exactly as I have stated on my website.

    Dr. Haber (quite rightfully) advises against trying to reason with bullies by appealing to their sensibilities. He states:

    “This is wishful thinking, and works only when you’re not dealing with a true bully. True bullies don’t have empathy–at least not for your child. They do not care that they’ve hurt your child’s feelings…in fact, that’s exactly what they want.” [Chapter 2, page 67]

    Neither does he feel (again, quite correctly) that in most cases appealing to a bully’s parents will have much effect under the adage (that I also noted within one of my articles) that: “The acorn never falls far from the tree.”

    Student bystanders remain silent in the face of bullying, even if they are sympathetic to the victim, for two reasons as Dr. Haber explains. Firstly, they are afraid to try to intervene because they fear losing social status and becoming targets themselves. Secondly, they view the victim as a sort of metaphorical lightening rod; i.e., “Thank God it’s not me.”

    Part of his school bullying program is to attempt to instill within the typical school kid a sense of duty to resist aggression against other kids as not being acceptable. This emphasis on the role of the bystander within Dr. Haber’s paradigm echoes the high degree of importance that John Halligan places upon the role of bystanders within his school lectures regarding his late son’s case.

    Once a parent becomes aware of a problem regarding school bullying, Dr. Haber presents (Chapter 4, pages 118-119) a series of steps parents can take to tackle the problem, from first to last resorts; ranging from working with a child to have him or her try to solve the problem himself or herself, to invoking the legal system, with seven suggested steps in-between. Working with a youngster to improve his or her social skills is one I advocate myself and suggest in my first article regarding Tourette’s Syndrome, which would be applicable to many youngsters who do not suffer from that affliction.

    Removing a child from a school is not a remedy that Dr. Haber advises in most cases as such denies a child the opportunity to learn from the episode and improve his or her social skills, and it also often proves ineffectual as well. Dr. Haber observes that often such children seem to have a “neon sign” above their heads indicating that they are victims which bullies at another school will soon pick up upon. Of course, the same aspects of the youngster that rendered him or her a victim at the former school will remain with him or her, with the added onus of the child becoming the new kid at…

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  3. Christine Naman said,

    Wrote on February 27, 2012 @ 3:51 pm

    11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Thank you Dr. Haber, October 9, 2007
    Christine Naman (Pittsburgh, PA) –

    This review is from: Bullyproof Your Child For Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood (Paperback)

    Thank you Dr. Haber! Thank you for this helpful informative book. I could not recommend it more highly for parents and teachers. We are all touched by bullying at some level. This book is a useful aid no matter your vantage point. From the first page I was amazed at just how much I didn’t know and hadn’t thought of. The best part-the book is readable, not a textbook or a dry manual. But a book that talks in plain language and really does give useable suggestions. You helped me and my children. Thank you

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